Dear John...

[combatdoc]

"Faith in humanity....dwindling."

THE "DEAR JOHN" COLUMN NEEDS YOUR LETTERS

Citizens of Hell are invited to send their letters or emails asking advice to our special columnist John, who will be answering select questions weekly in The Daily Pitchfork.  All submissions are anonymous although any information on activity of a criminal nature will of course be passed on to the police.

Comments

[combatdoc]

Dear Terrified,

Try telling him to piss off. That seems nice and clear.

We will not be posting your question in the column as it contains inappropriate sexual content. Sorry.

- John