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Dear John...
"Faith in humanity....dwindling."
THE "DEAR JOHN" COLUMN NEEDS YOUR LETTERS
Citizens of Hell are invited to send their letters or emails asking advice to our special columnist John, who will be answering select questions weekly in The Daily Pitchfork. All submissions are anonymous although any information on activity of a criminal nature will of course be passed on to the police.
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Dear John,
I recently moved back in with my parents, after my apartment turned into a piece of shit, and they won't stop flirting with each other. They do it all the time! Whenever I walk in the kitchen my dad pulls my mom's hair. He holds on to it even when they go into the living room. They're always arguing with each other. Sometimes it's goes on, until late at night and I can't sleep. My dad threw something at my mom the other day and the look in their eyes was gross!
The worst part they do this in front of me.
How can I get my parents to stop flirting?