Dear John...

[combatdoc]

"Faith in humanity....dwindling."

THE "DEAR JOHN" COLUMN NEEDS YOUR LETTERS

Citizens of Hell are invited to send their letters or emails asking advice to our special columnist John, who will be answering select questions weekly in The Daily Pitchfork.  All submissions are anonymous although any information on activity of a criminal nature will of course be passed on to the police.

Comments

I'm sorry, I couldn't help this

[variaboss]

From Anonymous

Dear John,

I've got to share my place with my loud ass housemate. He annoying as fuck and loud as hell. My roommate sings in the god damn shower. It sounds like someone's running over a cat with a lawnmower. I tell him to shut the fuck up and he never does. Not even when I throw shit at him. He also sheds all over. There is always long ass hair in the drain. It's super nasty.

And now, this dumb bratty kid's moved in too. I mean we used to live together all the damn time, but I thought he was old enough to make his own little kingdom instead of lazing his ass around in mine. He's always taking the kitchen knives and stabbing shit with them. Those are MY knives to stab shit with!

So my question is what color should our drapes be?